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Characteristics of Adults Shamed in Childhood |
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- They are afraid of vulnerability and fear exposure of self.
- They may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment, and feelings of inferiority to others.
- They fear intimacy and tend to avoid real commitment in relationships.
- They may appear either grandiose and self-centered, or seem selfless.
- They feel that "No matter what I do, it won't make a difference: I am and always will be worthless and unlovable."
- They frequently feel defensive when even minor negative feedback is given. They may suffer severe humiliation if forced to look at mistakes or imperfections.
- They frequently blame others before they can be blamed.
- They may apologize constantly and assume responsibility for the behavior of those around them.
- They often feel like outsiders and have a pervasive feeling of loneliness, even when surrounded by those who love and care for them.
- They project their beliefs about themselves onto others, frequently engaging in "mind-reading" and constantly feeling judged by others.
- They often feel angry and judgmental towards the qualities in others that they feel ashamed of in themselves.
- They often feel ugly, flawed and imperfect, and may be overly focused on make-up or clothing as a way of hiding perceived flaws in self.
- They often feel controlled from the outside as well as within; normal spontaneous expression is blocked.
- They often suffer from performance anxiety and procrastination and depression.
- They often lie to themselves and others.
- They frequently block feelings of shame through compulsive behaviors like workaholism, eating disorders, shopping, substance abuse, list making or gambling.
Original source unknown
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