Terror Within

Today I took a step backwards.
Terror arrived.
Every dream faded away,
every expectation for today
was drained out of my mind,
things I looked forward to
became meaningless.

As I walk in the harbor
I see people laughing.
I notice the sun shining
and I know the breeze is tender.

I am lifeless.
My eyes keep looking
but they see nothing,
my ears keep perceiving sounds
but they hear nothing,
my skin keeps sensing the wind
but it feels nothing.
My heart is filled with darkness
surrounded by walls of blackness.

In the middle of the dark turmoil
I paused and prayed asking for light.
I looked deep in the eyes of the terror
and said: "Welcome back".
They paused and said:
"We are your most faithful friend,
we will return until you learn to let go,
until you realize
that you can not control this life,
until you realize that the only thing
you are afraid of is yourself".

Then I remembered
that every time they paid a visit
I did learn,
I became more unrestrained,
I came into contact with myself,
I found peace like never before.

Today I took a step backwards.
Or did I?
I learned to know myself,
I realized I was not as far as I thought,
I realized I am going to be healed,
I realized I will learn to let go.

I appreciate faithful friends.

This page is dedicated to Robert Burney whose writings have given me the courage to face the terror within.