Take This

I have given you flowers many times
but I never gave you myself.
Yet I have been beside you
for twenty-three years
doing favors,
listening and giving advice,
living with you every day.

I had a life of my own,
dedicated to my profession,
driven by compulsions
and addictions
that your eyes never saw.

I did my best to support you
without loving anyone
without loving myself
trying to hide my shame.
Yes, I tried but it only irritated me
bringing my restlessness to the surface.

Now I respect myself enough
to give you the best present I can:
Take me.